My Ten Commandments

If you’ve listened to our broadcasts, you’ve probably heard me refer to my “10 Ballpark Commandments.”

 

It occurred to me yesterday that I’ve never listed them on my blog so here goes.

 

  1. Adult males shall not bring a baseball glove.  If you can drive a car, you can attempt a bare-handed catch.    
  2. Adults (of both genders) who catch foul balls shall give them to the nearest kid.
  3. Taunting the opponent shall be humorous – not vulgar.
  4.  If thou are obese or have back hair, your shirt must remain on.
  5. Thou must sing “Take Me out to the Ballgame” during the 7th inning stretch.
  6. If thou eat ballpark food, at least 1 item must be unhealthy.
  7. If thou wear a jersey, it must be of an active player or a team legend.  For example, it you optimistically purchased a Red Sox jersey with “Smoltz” on the back, you’re out of luck (but Yaz, Fisk, Rice, etc . . . are acceptable).
  8. If thou appear on the Kiss Cam, keep it short and sweet (and no tongue!).
  9. If thou are lucky enough to sit behind home plate, you must never call someone on your cell phone to say, “Look, I’m on TV!”  Isn’t it better if someone says, “Hey, did you have great seats to the game the other night?”
  10. If thou catch a home run ball, you can sell it or give it back to the guy that hit it, but you cannot make a list of demands before giving it back.

 

I’m perfectly willing to adapt the list if you have better suggestions.  Feel free to give me your ideas in the comments section.

 

* * * * *

 

On Wednesday night, Jeff Natale started a game for the first time in 26 days and demonstrated his remarkable ability to get on base.  Batting leadoff, Natale went 3-for-4 with a walk to help the PawSox beat Rochester 7-6.

 


Natale with nuns resize.jpg 

In 5 games as Pawtucket’s leadoff hitter this year, Natale is 9-for-18 (.500) with 3 walks for a .571 OBP.  More importantly, the PawSox are 4-1 in those games.

 

The knock on Natale is that he’s not a strong defensive player, but on a team that has struggled to score runs in 2009, it would have been nice to have his bat in the lineup on a regular basis. 

 

I hope he’s given a fair shot to be Pawtucket’s leadoff hitter next year.

 

* * * * *

 

Aaron Boone’s amazing comeback from open-heart surgery is one of the best stories in baseball this year, but it could have a negative impact on Ron Johnson’s son Chris.  Boone’s return to Houston could stand in the way of a September call-up for RJ’s son.

 


Chris Johnson re.jpg 

But Chris is having a very solid first season in Triple-A with Round Rock of the Pacific Coast League.  After batting .333 with 7 HR in August, Chris is hitting .278 with 13 HR in 99 games this season.

 

And that’s not the only reason that RJ is beaming with pride these days.  His 10-year-old daughter Bridget has earned a starting spot on her school’s basketball team.  Bridget is starting 5th grade and the team is for girls through the 8th grade.

 

RJ calls his daughter “Waffle House” on the basketball court for her defensive ability.

 

Just like the hash browns at that restaurant chain, Bridget’s opponents are “smothered and covered.”

 

* * * * *

 

There are only three home games left in 2009, including Wednesday’s matchup against Rochester.  I hope you’ll join us for the radio call, beginning with the pre-game show at 6:50 on the PawSox radio network and PawSox.com.

6 Comments

adults should be able to bring a glove to batting practice.
if you catch a foul ball it is a once and a life time chance… maybe. should not have to give it to a kid, if you want at your disscresion.
the last one if a player wants a home run ball back, you should get something back for that ball, i would not just give it back for nothing.
-bettencourt

Well, Dan, I have to say I have a few critiques…

Re #1: Nope, I’m fine with gloves. Funny thing about guys (and indeed, it’s usually guys) who attempt bare-handed catches–they often miss, and the ball ricochets, and once it does that, men, women, children and ferrets are all at risk. Bring a glove if you know how to use it, and catch the darn thing.
Re #7: I’d accept this if you added a provision for the under-known and under-sung. I wear my Cla Meredith jersey proudly, thank you very much. (Going to burn my Smoltz tee, though.)
And I guess I would PERSONALLY add…
* He who is over ten years old and does the wave where there is less than a 10-run differential, let him forever be condemned to the fires.
* Thou shalt not under any circumstances not involving uncontrolled bleeding get up from thy seat mid-at-bat.
* If thou wishest to yell at a player, thou shalt learn his name or purchase a hymnal/program. Thou shalt not yell his number as though he were a racehorse.
* Noise at the ballpark shall be made with hands and lungs, and not with mechanical objects. And I shall be happy to tell you where thou canst put thy cowbell.
(I’d better stop…)
Kelly
http://www.sittingstill.net/

What a great opportunity to gripe! I can’t pass this up, so in no particular order, here goes…
* cell phones – should be banned not only at the ballpark, but in all facets of life
* the wave – banned – along with disco dancing, mirror balls and polyester suits…they’ve run their course
*black uniform tops for road teams – banned – they look like cheap little league uniforms…especially the powder blue on black that Buffalo wears
*drunks – banned – not beer…just drunks…I don’t want to put “Benny the Beer Man” out if a job and I do tend to get thirsty at the games
*Yankee fans – banned from McCoy…move to Scranton (the Mecca of IL Broadcasters) if it’s so great to be a Yankee fan
*Gagne jerseys – anyone that wears a Gagne jersey should also have to wear a red clown nose

This has been great therapy after witnessing another loss.

Don

i am a yankees fan! i have been to almost 40 pawsox games this season, AND i proudly wear my yankees hat and shirt. i just love watching baseball
-bettencourt

I agree with you on #1 – I do NOT get this whole – I must get the ball mentality! GIVE IT TO A KID!!!!! It’s a child’s game after all! And I love all the others (seriously – health food at a ball game?? It is just wrong!)

Julia
http://werbiefitz.mlblogs.com/

Ah, yes, the ol’ baseball-is-a-kid’s-game explanation. That’s why as a middle-aged adult I go to dozens of MiLB and MLB games each year: to watch my favorite neighborhood kids playing a wonderful game that earns those tiny little kids big bucks, or at least offers some strong potential to do so.

I’ve caught lots of baseballs at games and spring trainings, and I’ve given a bunch away to kids who aren’t carrying around sack fulls of baseballs. But, I’ve kept and awful lot of ‘em, too. I happen to like the feel and smell of a fresh baseball.

Thou shall keep any baseball one desires, regardless of age or gender.

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